Holding Cells Aren’t Helping

This is the tale of my stay at the Lawrence Memorial Med 6 Psychiatric Unit. It outlines how poor care is given even when the stay is voluntary.

The Water’s Rising Past My Eyes

This piece was written while inducing a hypomanic state. I had a lot of scrambled energy that needed to come out and this poem is the product of the current state of my psyche. Lucky I have a new therapist.

Forgive me for my faults (because I can’t)

Forgive me for my faults is a new piece written on 9/26/19 that was sparked as an outlet to an episode of Borderline Personality Disorder. It’s often common for people with personality disorder to deal with false thoughts that are programmed into them.

Monthly Me: August

Content Warning: Medication problems, social stigma, suicide, and dementia are shared in this episode.

Acid Head

Acid Head

There is something inside you
What was that behind you?
Cant, you keep track of time?
They are coming to find you…
Some air outside will make you feel fine…
It’s freezing… you’re burning!
I need to find a place to hide…

exercise log

Excersize Log Weekly Goal

In a charge to better myself this summer, I am going to publicly release my weekly Fitbit charts and scales starting from this point forward. One of my friends posted a really influential video on her feed and it moved me to want to better myself in some way and this is one way I could do something accountable. I struggle with my activity level for a ton of reasons — some of them are legitimate medical excuses others not.

Your sick

Your sick.

There was nothing I could have wished for
But a chance to meet your gaze
That would of satiated
My burning pain
Nothing I could have wished for
Could end this pain

Join me

From the Lips of Death

Bereave her with my lovely
Lyrics
Of demonic desire
And set her heart on fire
With the darkest desire
To join me in the mire

Don’t Forget Me

I wish that this pain would vacate
Me
And I wish these drugs would placate
Me…
I just want to take a dive
And be down
Forever un-found
I want to be down…

Vapor Man

Death and Love Potray Decay

Haunting whispers and
Acidic dreams
Echo through the seams
Of reality
Taking – consuming
Altering the room and
Tearing me apart

Mother's Day for Two

Mother’s Day For Two

We pull into the driveway and head inside via the front walk. Mist is almost stinging in the morning air as I rush ahead to open the door. We gathered in the living room and I set up my recording. I captured some really endearing audio of her experiences at church, what she thought, what she wishes it had been like, and then her gift opening.

Psychiatric Hospital

Holding Cells Aren’t Helping

This is the tale of my stay at the Lawrence Memorial Med 6 Psychiatric Unit. It outlines how poor care is given even when the stay is voluntary.

Heart Balloon

You and me Turns to We

In love with impossibilities
Like kissing fire on the lips
My desire wants to take my life
And in the morning I have to come to grips

Hallucination of Friendships

Taking medication
Like a precaution
To avoid the flood
Of memories
That overrun my mind
With sad ideas
And thoughts of you
Why do you like to invade me?