Holding Cells Aren’t Helping

This is the tale of my stay at the Lawrence Memorial Med 6 Psychiatric Unit. It outlines how poor care is given even when the stay is voluntary.

5.5 Grams of Freedom

I have had a life-long relationship with psychedelics. I began using dextromethorphan (DXM), a sigma agonist that is available OTC, when I was 15. I began using it after severe domestic …

The Water’s Rising Past My Eyes

This piece was written while inducing a hypomanic state. I had a lot of scrambled energy that needed to come out and this poem is the product of the current state of my psyche. Lucky I have a new therapist.

Forgive me for my faults (because I can’t)

Forgive me for my faults is a new piece written on 9/26/19 that was sparked as an outlet to an episode of Borderline Personality Disorder. It’s often common for people with personality disorder to deal with false thoughts that are programmed into them.

Your sick

Your sick.

There was nothing I could have wished for
But a chance to meet your gaze
That would of satiated
My burning pain
Nothing I could have wished for
Could end this pain

Join me

From the Lips of Death

Bereave her with my lovely
Lyrics
Of demonic desire
And set her heart on fire
With the darkest desire
To join me in the mire

Don’t Forget Me

I wish that this pain would vacate
Me
And I wish these drugs would placate
Me…
I just want to take a dive
And be down
Forever un-found
I want to be down…

Vapor Man

Death and Love Potray Decay

Haunting whispers and
Acidic dreams
Echo through the seams
Of reality
Taking – consuming
Altering the room and
Tearing me apart

Heart Balloon

You and me Turns to We

In love with impossibilities
Like kissing fire on the lips
My desire wants to take my life
And in the morning I have to come to grips

Hallucination of Friendships

Taking medication
Like a precaution
To avoid the flood
Of memories
That overrun my mind
With sad ideas
And thoughts of you
Why do you like to invade me?

drawing blood

Drawing Blood

And as the sensation fades away
I cant deny it,
You’ve infected my heart –
I cant describe it

Christ of Pain

Christ of Pain

Webs of shadow
Tangle my broken dreams
Like unraveled intention
The plan has gone so wrong

Drowning in Dusk

Drowning in Dusk

Where has the feeling gone?
Oh, sun – Why do you hide from me?
The purest of flowers never grow
When the clouds cant provide
Don’t take my love from my life

Challenge Me Softly

Mix another drink
Clear my mind – I need to think
Stop the shakes so I can hold this pen to ink
My paper legibly
Said I’d be
Sober last Tuesday