Holding Cells Aren’t Helping

This is the tale of my stay at the Lawrence Memorial Med 6 Psychiatric Unit. It outlines how poor care is given even when the stay is voluntary.

5.5 Grams of Freedom

I have had a life-long relationship with psychedelics. I began using dextromethorphan (DXM), a sigma agonist that is available OTC, when I was 15. I began using it after severe domestic …

The Water’s Rising Past My Eyes

This piece was written while inducing a hypomanic state. I had a lot of scrambled energy that needed to come out and this poem is the product of the current state of my psyche. Lucky I have a new therapist.

Forgive me for my faults (because I can’t)

Forgive me for my faults is a new piece written on 9/26/19 that was sparked as an outlet to an episode of Borderline Personality Disorder. It’s often common for people with personality disorder to deal with false thoughts that are programmed into them.

Taking Down (From The Inside)

Taking Down (From The Inside)

Fade the shades and lay with me
The light can’t see
Where we are now.
I clutch you, my photograph, tightly

From Treasure to Trash

From Treasure to Trash

For eight months I took pictures of my grandmother at various events and made her a lovely picture book. Find out why she hates it!

Weekly Fitness Report

Weekly Fitness Report for May 27th

Part two in my exercize log series where I challenge myself to publicly display my health data to encourage myself to become more active!

White Water Rafting

White Water Rafting

This is part one in Going with the Flow blog series where I explain my transformation from self-hate to self-love and begin the healing PTSD

Diefy Me

Deify Me -or- Make me Whole.

A gothic metal song written with a double bass drum kick.

Something Besides Fashion

Something besides fashion

This poem is takes dark energy of codependency and drives it to a point of psychosis.

Acid Head

Acid Head

There is something inside you
What was that behind you?
Cant, you keep track of time?
They are coming to find you…
Some air outside will make you feel fine…
It’s freezing… you’re burning!
I need to find a place to hide…

exercise log

Excersize Log Weekly Goal

In a charge to better myself this summer, I am going to publicly release my weekly Fitbit charts and scales starting from this point forward. One of my friends posted a really influential video on her feed and it moved me to want to better myself in some way and this is one way I could do something accountable. I struggle with my activity level for a ton of reasons — some of them are legitimate medical excuses others not.

Your sick

Your sick.

There was nothing I could have wished for
But a chance to meet your gaze
That would of satiated
My burning pain
Nothing I could have wished for
Could end this pain

Join me

From the Lips of Death

Bereave her with my lovely
Of demonic desire
And set her heart on fire
With the darkest desire
To join me in the mire