Holding Cells Aren’t Helping

This is the tale of my stay at the Lawrence Memorial Med 6 Psychiatric Unit. It outlines how poor care is given even when the stay is voluntary.

Monthly Me: August

Content Warning: Medication problems, social stigma, suicide, and dementia are shared in this episode.

Changing Veins and Lanes

This cursed life is just a ploy A simple toy… Employed by misery to murder joy I try to fight the void… But my will, long destroyed I wish to see …

The Artifact

I wanna live in my dreams Rip between the seams The people in my mind are more coherent it seems To be… Reality is nothing to me Jokingly – Brush aside …

White Water Rafting

White Water Rafting

This is part one in Going with the Flow blog series where I explain my transformation from self-hate to self-love and begin the healing PTSD

Diefy Me

Deify Me -or- Make me Whole.

A gothic metal song written with a double bass drum kick.

Something Besides Fashion

Something besides fashion

This poem is takes dark energy of codependency and drives it to a point of psychosis.

Acid Head

Acid Head

There is something inside you
What was that behind you?
Cant, you keep track of time?
They are coming to find you…
Some air outside will make you feel fine…
It’s freezing… you’re burning!
I need to find a place to hide…

exercise log

Excersize Log Weekly Goal

In a charge to better myself this summer, I am going to publicly release my weekly Fitbit charts and scales starting from this point forward. One of my friends posted a really influential video on her feed and it moved me to want to better myself in some way and this is one way I could do something accountable. I struggle with my activity level for a ton of reasons — some of them are legitimate medical excuses others not.

Your sick

Your sick.

There was nothing I could have wished for
But a chance to meet your gaze
That would of satiated
My burning pain
Nothing I could have wished for
Could end this pain

Join me

From the Lips of Death

Bereave her with my lovely
Of demonic desire
And set her heart on fire
With the darkest desire
To join me in the mire

Don’t Forget Me

I wish that this pain would vacate
And I wish these drugs would placate
I just want to take a dive
And be down
Forever un-found
I want to be down…

Vapor Man

Death and Love Potray Decay

Haunting whispers and
Acidic dreams
Echo through the seams
Of reality
Taking – consuming
Altering the room and
Tearing me apart

Mother's Day for Two

Mother’s Day For Two

We pull into the driveway and head inside via the front walk. Mist is almost stinging in the morning air as I rush ahead to open the door. We gathered in the living room and I set up my recording. I captured some really endearing audio of her experiences at church, what she thought, what she wishes it had been like, and then her gift opening.